Ashley Tran. March 31. God, Music, & Knowledge please.
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Intelligence is impressive. Especially if he can handle being “book smart” and “street smart.” Guys who actually care about school and take initiative about it are extremely respectable. Not to mention, they can hold down an intellectual, mind-stimulating conversation.
A family man. The kind who would do absolutely anything for his family when it comes down to it. Any girl would love to bring home a boy who is well-mannered and pleasant enough to introduce to the most important people in her life: her family and best friends.
A believer. It doesn’t matter his religion too much, as long as he’s a beliver. A guy who can stand proud about his faith doesn’t necessarily mean he is completely and utterly dedicated, but can at least understands his limits and morals.
I want a sweater from a guy I like with a scent I love. I want to be able to sleep in it comfortably every night just because I know he can’t be with me all the time. I seriously love guys who smell good, I cannot emphasize that enough, it’s attractive.
It can’t be avoided, honestly. Eventually someone is going to get hurt, feelings are going to be lost, jealousy rises up, and insecurities rise to the surface. It’s the way life runs its course, inevitably. Not to worry, everyone finds someone, eventually. The thing that makes the difference are the people who are willing to wait, and the people who hop on to the first appealing person that comes by. That’s what makes or breaks them- the willingness to pursue, the patience to wait, the intensity of passion, their decisions in whole. That’s the thing, greater things come to those who wait. With a mindset to get it now, get it done, get it quick, is a mindset to have a relationship built without a base. People really have to watch what they step in to, but they lack the will to watch for themselves. Sometimes it’s better to look before jumping.
The kind of friendship where all truth can be told without any lack of trust. The kind of friendship where you can just feel when something’s wrong with the other. The kind of friendship that isn’t always rainbows and unicorns. The kind of friendship where rough patches are just a small phase. The kind of friendship that is worth more than a million dollars. The kind of friendship that could never be traded for the world. The kind of friendship that holds through holidays, birthdays, and the ups with the downs.
Those are the kind of friendships I live for.
I push them away eventually … That’s if I let them get close in the first place. It’s not that I don’t care about them, but I know I’ve got to look out for myself. I don’t want to feel that excruciating emotional pain of losing someone I have a deeply built relationship with. I push people away before they can get too close. Eventually I feel bad because they’re gone, and but I try to tell them because I know I do it. It’s not like I can change how that works, it’s just if they can fight through it proves a lot to me.
I’m scared of losing people. It’ll bug me no matter what, but the sooner in the relationship it’s done, the shorter amount of time I feel it for.
If you really want to hurt someone, to attack someone, than get to know them first. Stop making up false rumors or blowing one small thing out of proportion. If you can’t back up your stupid shit talk, than you better shut your mouth or risk looking like a complete dumbass. Nobody wants to listen to a hater who hates out of pure jealousy and boredom. Shut your big ass mouth and get your facts straight, please.
I want to mean something to you. I want to motivate you. I want to inspire you. I want to give you a reason to go for what you’re passionate about. I want to be the girl who influences you to do well in school, and to never give up. I want to be the kind of girl you’ll be okay chilling with even with the homies around. I want to be the bestfriend type of girlfriend. The type of girlfriend who’ll play videogames with you, who you can crack jokes with. The type of girl you can bust stupid missions with, or just sit around with doing nothing. The kind that you don’t have to impress all the time. The kind that accepts your flaws because I know that’s who you are. I want to be able to surprise and spoil you out of the blue. I want to know your favorite color, your happy place. I really just want you to be as happy as you’ll make me.
To hear the tone of your voice before I shut down for the night. To have your hand in mine, palm to palm. To wake up to each other’s goodmornings. To feel your kisses on my forehead and cheek. To be that reason for that adorable smile on your face. To be able to run to you if I needed to. To have that security I feel in just one of your simple hugs. To cuddle up in your warmth on a rainy day. To sit next to you and watch movies. To play oldschool video games. To keep our youth. To bake with you. To spend time with you. To listen to your every problem, or your every joy. To be there for you through it all.
It’s all I really want, and all I really want is you. Promise.
- To force yourself to stay away from something you really want.
- Let everything “flow” aka setting yourself up to get hurt.
Listening to their voice as they fall asleep. Trying to stay awake to talk to them to the sun rises … Yet failing miserably. Listening to their soft little breaths, or obnoxiously cute snores. The feeling that someone’s there, and being able to imagine them right next to you; where they should be, where they belong. There’s just something about that secure feeling you have when you know that out of all the people they could’ve been on the phone with they chose YOU. I love being the voice you dose off to, and I love you being the last person who crosses my mind before I drift off into my dreams.
When it comes to friends who come and go, I don’t get mad. It’s not really anybody’s decision, people drift apart; that’s how life is, you live and you go on. When I’m close to someone, sure, of course it bugs me when we lose each other, but I’m a tough cookie to lose. If ever, for some reason they need me back in their life, just someone to talk to, someone to be there for them, I’d be there, no questions asked. I don’t get mad when people come back to me, I don’t automatically think they have the wrong intentions because I know that sometimes, you just need someone, and I’m that someone. It’s the kind of person I’ve grown to be, the person that an old friend could fall back on, and I’d always be there to catch them with open arms. Promise, I’m for real.
A consistent “goodmorning.” A consistent “goodnight.” A consistent “smile.” That feeling where you know there will always be someone who would be there for you through it all. No fear that in the morning you’ll wake up feeling … Alone. Something to consistently look forward to everyday. Wouldn’t that just be, amazing ? I think that’s people ache for, really- the feeling of being cared about by someone else. People, they want to matter, not just take up matter, but to really serve an importance to another being.
Hi, my name’s Ashley Tran.
Yes, I have acne, and no, I never wear make-up. Stuff like that isn’t for me, I don’t think I need it, even though most people would say otherwise. I don’t believe in wearing make-up because I don’t want to make the condition worse. I stress, a lot, and I have horrible eating habits, which probably amounts for a lot. Sure, this acne brings me insecurities, but I still accept myself, and that’s what really matters, self-acceptance. I don’t need people to keep pointing out these flaws, because I wear them proudly. I know who I am, and I don’t feel the need to hide it.
I think about what I could say, or if I should say anything at all. I think about how amazing it would be to see you, but at the same time, it’d crush me. I wonder if your face would light up, or if you’d pretend I wasn’t there.
Sometimes I sit and think about how much I miss you. Sometimes I sit and think about if you miss me too.